Ask Jack: Opening An Account In the Caymans?

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth

I sure have enjoyed my European adventure, although as usual when I’m overseas, much of what I see makes no sense to my adopted-Midwesterner eyes. Here’s an example: Why is it that I see more Porsches out and about in my home town of Powell, Ohio, than I do when I’m visiting Germany? If I am on an Ohio freeway for 20 minutes, I will see a Porsche; if I am on an Ohio freeway for an hour and it is not snowing, chances are that I will see a real Porsche, meaning something with just two doors and an engine behind the driver. There are a half-dozen 911s garaged within a mile of my house of which I am aware, which means that there are probably a lot more of which I am not aware, because general awareness is not my finest personal quality.

You would think the place where they actually build Porsches (some of them anyway) would have a lot more of them than Ohio does, the same way that Ohio has a lot more Honda Accords per capita than you’d find in, say, New Mexico. It is not so. Unless you are in the immediate vicinity of the Nurburgring, Porsches are virtually non-existent on the roads of the Fatherland. Maybe they know something we don’t, or maybe they’re just not buying Caymans and Cayennes at the moment because they are spending all their money on subsidizing all those nice young fellows arriving from parts unknown.

Speaking of Porsches, it’s time for Part Two (Electric Boogaloo!) of Ask Jack: Stuttgart Edition.

Chris writes:

I currently have a 1999 Mercedes-Benz SLK as a third car, which I drive occasionally about 5,000 miles/year. However, with a new paint job looming, I’m thinking about giving it to a relative and replacing it with something newer.

I’ve toyed with owning a Cayman for many years but have always been scared off by the spectre of IMS bearing failure (or any failure where the repair requires the cash equivalent of a new economy car). I have a garage full of tools, and the time to fix many things on my own, but it’s that $15,000 new engine risk that’s scared me off up ’til now.

I’d like to spend $30,000-something, with an absolute limit of $40,000.

What would be a good model year range? Is the S worth that much more over the basic Cayman? The car will never see a racetrack, just southern California driving. Where is a good forum to find a car? I’m leaning towards AutoTrader because the cost of listing means only the nicer cars are listed.

Chris, I have to admit I initially read your first paragraph to mean that you have a new job in the painting industry — but then I remembered that old Benzes really do enjoy a spot of the ol’ ultra-delamination. Something that you do not mention is whether you’ve been using the retractable hardtop on that SLK of yours. I’m thinking the answer is “no” because you’re in the market for a Cayman and not a Boxster. In my experience, cars with power hardtops rarely have those hardtops in any position besides “up,” whether we’re talking about that crazy old Ford from the ’50s or the modern 4 Series “convertible.”

If, on the other hand, you’re thinking you want a Cayman and not a Boxster because of some nonsense about “superior chassis rigidity” or “on the limit handling,” then be like Princess Elsa and let it go, brother. (It was Elsa, right? I didn’t actually watch the movie, because I’m a grown man.) The difference in the racetrack prowess of a similarly equipped Boxster and Cayman is about nothing. On the street, where you’ll be, it is nothing.

Is long-term resale value important to you? In that case, don’t fail to get the “S” model, even if you have to get a slightly older or higher-mileage car to do it. But if you just want the best Cayman possible for the money, then the recommendation is easy. You can find a 2011-2012 Cayman 2.9-liter for $30,000 or less. They come with a six-speed manual transmission if you like and they do not come with an IMS bearing problem. Although some people think that problems with the direct-injection systems on these newer Porkers will end up being the “IMS bearing” of this generation, the 2.9-liter cars don’t have direct injection. It’s the most trouble-free choice.

As far as where to find the car, I suggest that you join the Porsche Club of America — you’ll end up doing it anyway once you have the car — at which point you can make full use of their excellent classifieds section. Typically, PCA listings are priced a bit high, but most of the owners are willing to deal down to non-club levels. And although nothing in life is utterly certain, I’d take an enthusiastic PCA member’s car over an auction rat from your local “affordable exotic” dealer.

Last but not least, make sure you find a reputable independent dealer to do a pre-purchase inspection. These cars can hide plenty of very expensive problems. The PPI for my Boxster revealed about $1,900 worth of suggested repairs. I split the tab with the new owner. She’s happy to have a sorted-out car and I’m happy to be entirely out of the watercooled-Porsche lifestyle. Not that you should let my diffidence regarding those cars deter you. John Mayer said it best:

And airports


See it all the time


Where someone’s last goodbye


Blends in with someone’s sigh


‘Cause someone’s coming home


In hand a single rose


And that’s the way this wheel keeps working now


That’s the way this wheel keeps working now


And I won’t be the last


No I won’t be the last,


To love her

Jack Baruth
Jack Baruth

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  • Inside Looking Out Inside Looking Out on Jun 05, 2017

    God created Germans, Japanese, Chinese and other unamerican nations to create material objects for American (and now also Chinese) consumers. Germans, Japanese, Chinese and etc must work hard and save money to pour saved money into American economy and American government for American to consume and enjoy. Amen.

  • Jlalbrecht Jlalbrecht on Jun 07, 2017

    As an ex-pat American living in Europe (Austria) for 25 years, I can add a couple responses to your note of a dearth of Porsches on the road in Germany: 1) Premium cars (BMW, Porsche, Audi, MB, etc.) are much more expensive here than in the US. 2) Conspicuous consumption is not as socially acceptable in Central Europe as in the US (although this has changed over the decades).

  • Varezhka I have still yet to see a Malibu on the road that didn't have a rental sticker. So yeah, GM probably lost money on every one they sold but kept it to boost their CAFE numbers.I'm personally happy that I no longer have to dread being "upgraded" to a Maxima or a Malibu anymore. And thankfully Altima is also on its way out.
  • Tassos Under incompetent, affirmative action hire Mary Barra, GM has been shooting itself in the foot on a daily basis.Whether the Malibu cancellation has been one of these shootings is NOT obvious at all.GM should be run as a PROFITABLE BUSINESS and NOT as an outfit that satisfies everybody and his mother in law's pet preferences.IF the Malibu was UNPROFITABLE, it SHOULD be canceled.More generally, if its SEGMENT is Unprofitable, and HALF the makers cancel their midsize sedans, not only will it lead to the SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST ones, but the survivors will obviously be more profitable if the LOSERS were kept being produced and the SMALL PIE of midsize sedans would yield slim pickings for every participant.SO NO, I APPROVE of the demise of the unprofitable Malibu, and hope Nissan does the same to the Altima, Hyundai with the SOnata, Mazda with the Mazda 6, and as many others as it takes to make the REMAINING players, like the Excellent, sporty Accord and the Bulletproof Reliable, cheap to maintain CAMRY, more profitable and affordable.
  • GregLocock Car companies can only really sell cars that people who are new car buyers will pay a profitable price for. As it turns out fewer and fewer new car buyers want sedans. Large sedans can be nice to drive, certainly, but the number of new car buyers (the only ones that matter in this discussion) are prepared to sacrifice steering and handling for more obvious things like passenger and cargo space, or even some attempt at off roading. We know US new car buyers don't really care about handling because they fell for FWD in large cars.
  • Slavuta Why is everybody sweating? Like sedans? - go buy one. Better - 2. Let CRV/RAV rust on the dealer lot. I have 3 sedans on the driveway. My neighbor - 2. Neighbors on each of our other side - 8 SUVs.
  • Theflyersfan With sedans, especially, I wonder how many of those sales are to rental fleets. With the exception of the Civic and Accord, there are still rows of sedans mixed in with the RAV4s at every airport rental lot. I doubt the breakdown in sales is publicly published, so who knows... GM isn't out of the sedan business - Cadillac exists and I can't believe I'm typing this but they are actually decent - and I think they are making a huge mistake, especially if there's an extended oil price hike (cough...Iran...cough) and people want smaller and hybrids. But if one is only tied to the quarterly shareholder reports and not trends and the big picture, bad decisions like this get made.
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